FINAL ENGLISH BLOG!!!!

I cannot believe that today is our final day of English class....  I truly enjoyed coming to class, it was never a dull moment.  So many people with many personalities it just made it more inviting to attend.  What can I say about Professor Oberman, she is truly such a down-to-earth professor and person.  She has so much to offer through her teachings and is very passionate about what she teaches and allows you to see things for what they truly are.  She does not sugar coat anything and I love it.  Not afraid to say what she says!!!  I truly hope I can take her in the near future....  Hoping she teaches Critical Thinking!!!!  I will miss this class and the professor!!!

Happy Holidays!!!!

Final

So today was my math final, yes I know how dreadful and sickening.  I do not feel that it went all that well, I let myself get caught up in the stress.  I felt sick to my stomach, gained a headache and just made my day a non-productive day.  Lack of sleep did not help at all.  I truly feel like I flunked it.  That is no bueno.  Still stressed out and waiting for the final grade is going to drive me insane.....

School

I cannot believe that this semester is now coming to an end...... I truly have enjoyed my English class I wish I could say the same thing about math.  Do not get me wrong I like math but the professor was a little difficult.

Christmas Party

Walking down the halls of the company today, it is a bit interesting.  Pretty much everyone around here is wearing black and grey colors, is it because no one really is into the Christmas spirit?  Are the colors we were an expression of our personality or the view of how feel today?  Maybe it is a reflection of how some people feel about certain things that take place in the work place. I wear it because I like the colors and it is rather slimming, nothing to do with my personality though..... 

Today is our companies Christmas party, WOOHOO FREE BOOZE and FREE FOOD!!!!

My Duck is home

It was such a wonderful surprise to see Raymond my son yesterday, we expected him home Friday.... He is home for the holidays; he attends Oregon University.  You would think he would have lost weight but nope he gained 11 pounds.  He is living his college dream and aiming to get a degree and become an architect.  So proud of him.....

LIKE OMG

Last night it was pretty entertaining in my English class, for a minute there I thought someone was going to get slapped or punched.  Everyone is entitled to express their opinions and if you have facts then why not present them and not take offense to someone else's point of view.  So what if people feel that everything that is made in China is of poor quality and you feel that it is not.  Or that you feel that the US should outsource to other countries when others feel they should not.  There is a way of having such discussion without antagonizing or feeling antagonized or feel that you are correct and it should be that way.  It got pretty heated but it was pretty funny at least to me.  OMG I am going to miss English class with Professor Oberman....  Hopefully she teaches English 103 in the real near future....

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

So glad the weekend is here!!!!  Not that I'll have relaxing one but just knowing that I do not have to wake up super early to get to work, is just fine with me.  It's been one busy week, so I need some sleep....

Have a great weekend!!!

Live Life

I can only hold back the tears of anger
I can't even express my emotions without getting emotional
I can't express myself without being degraded
I can't say anything without feeling that I am saying all the wrong things
I feel like shutting down but I've been so tired of all of this
I lift my head up high, stand up straight & throw my shoulders back
Smile at the world with my eyes
And let out what I feel with no hesitation
Sick of letting others bring me down I will stand for it no more
I am who I am because the battles of life have left me with scars of pain
I've learned to heal all by myself slowly but surely
No more wounds, no more tears of blood, no more sorrows, no more pain all that there is left is the sadden memories
Just looking forward to creating life full of happiness

Feeling it

Let it pour, let it slide, let it all get wet and slippery....... I am talking about the rain of course!!!!  I love sitting here starring into the two glass doors and seeing the beauty of the rain splash onto the pavement.  Making puddles and little streams that whoosh the water away into the drain pipes.  Amazing though how water can cause so much damage but yet be so great for our mother earth. 


Hope everyone out there drive with cautious, wait who am I kidding people are at their worst when it rains....

Ferguson

I don't truly ever understand why people resort to violence, as if that is going to make a difference in the jury's verdict.  The only thing that is being caused by people is more aggravation, devastation and destruction.  It bothers me how closed minded people are.  Yes it is bothersome that there was no real justice for Michael Brown and the verdict truly sends the wrong message but people need to take a more positive approach towards it.  It just gets me so upset...

Survey off of Facebook

Took this survey: What does your last name say about you???

 

You are:

An agent of Love, Hope, and Empathy

You live in the hearts of many. You're a treasure trove of empathy, dignity, care, and uncompromising love. You've healed countless people with your love and care. Your compassion is unique, and you truly understand what others are going through. Life brings many ups and downs but you've picked your head up through and through. You will forever be remembered for your remarkable empathy and dignity!

 

Understandable....

It's difficult at times to self define ourselves!! Are we coming or are we going? Do we want or do we need? What is love aside from an action word? Do we believe in love to love or lust to love? Are we afraid to be alone n lonely or afraid to feel and be committed? What is cheating and what is being faithful? Do we cheat or stay faithful? Do we trust or just not care? Do we stay loyal or do we slither? Do we live a lifestyle or just live life according to our struggles? Do we judge n criticize or just accept? How can one define themselves with so much out there?? In life one should remain true and honest to themselves and accept responsibilities for their own actions.

Just Relax ???

I have come to realize that as we get older our lives become inundated and at times overwhelming with being on the constant on-the-go.  We forget what it means to step back and take a breather because we are just too busy catching our breathes.  What is the definition of just relax??  Any clue?  Well here is what the Merriam-Webster defines it as:   re·laxverb \ri-ˈlaks\

: to become or to cause (something) to become less tense, tight, or stiff
: to stop feeling nervous or worried

: to spend time resting or doing something enjoyable especially after you have been doing work

In just taking a look at the definition there is no way in which we can truly ever just relax or be relaxed.  Life in itself keeps us on edge and that does not include all of the responsibilities we all have.   Even when we are asleep our bodies are not relaxed, we wake up tense, stressed and achy.  

Raped Lips

It was not intended nor a thought.
It was a moment of unexpected rush.
It was just the temptation of desire of wondering if the nerve was there to just take.
Take what you want just because you feel the want to just want it.
Was it the intoxication or just simply the need of wanting to be daring.
Slick in a mans way.
The cheek was the object but some how the lips interlocked.
The lips got raped repeatedly with no hesitation.
Seductive yet intrigued by knowing the will and power was still there.
Would those lips be raped again?? No one will ever know!!

Sunday Funday

It was a busy day today....  Church this morning and then rush to get home.  Had to get my daughter ready for her performance at Van Nuys Recreation park, Van Nuys Cheerleaders performed at the festival.  Then met up with friends and had one too many Cucumber Jalapeno Margaritas at Tequilas Grill in Burbank.... Followed up with drinks at my friends house....  What a day!!!

Funkytown

When I was five years old I remember this song being my all time favorite "Funkytown", by LIPPS.... I had my parents buy the 8 track tape, yes an 8 track!!!  LOL!!!! Every time I hear this song it always takes me back to the moment in Pacoima,  coming out of the meat market that was located on San Fernando Road, called Silver Meat Market..  A man standing outside selling 8 tracks and playing my song. 
But now this song will have more of memory for me, it will not only take me back to when I was five years old but it will remind of last night in the back of my jeep... LOL!!!!!   Explosions and all!!!  Bad girl I am!!! 

My Treasures

As I see my children grow up and be the young men and the young lady they are becoming, the more I can say this is why I went through double hell and back.  I have tumbled, stumbled and fallen but I have refused to crumble.  Having my first child at a very early age was a struggle and was tough but some how I have managed to stay above water, even when I was barely gasping for air.  My first born was my rock, my strength the foundation to the formation of something I did not know.  As I see my children now, I understand. 
Marvin is planning on enlisting into the Marines, Raymond attends Oregon University and Aleyah well she is in high school and is a cheerleader.. .
This are my kids - Marvin, Raymond and Aleyah -

WOOHOOO!!!!!

A very Happy Birthday Professor Oberman and many happy wishes!!!

Running Thoughts

I am in the mood to release the venom within me

To savage you up and endure painful pain

To see you squirm and hear you scream

Would bring just pleasure to my soul

To ravage you up and masticate you with my devilish ways

It would bring just pleasure of releasing such hatred and anger

No fear involved

Just venting away would bring an adrenaline rush to my head

Loving the thought of causing you such pain would be so orgasmic 

Happy Halloween

Where has the Halloween innocence disappeared to?  I asked my daughter on our way to school today, "do you think a lot of the kids at your school will have appropriate costumes?"  She replied, "Mom it's high school, what do you think?"  And then we see this girl on her way to school barely able to walk in 5 inch heels with a tutu.... 

Amusing NOT!!

I find people to be amusing but not in the way anyone would think.  They wake up and already are off to a bad start just because they woke up.  Like really!????   Happy they should be, they have another day to make a change or difference not only in their lives but in the lives of others.  OH wait, they cannot since they woke up hating the world.  Why???  Like the world owes them anything, if anything thankful they should be that the world exists.  So much can be learned from others and implemented into their own lives.  Oh that is right, their lives are just perfect that is why they never seem to share a smile with anyone.  They are too good for that.  Wake up buddy and smell the real life shit, nothing will ever be perfect and it does not hurt to crack a smile once in a while.  It may actually make you feel better about yourself and appreciate the beauty of life....

Forever missed!!!

Remembering the day you came into our lives
You were just a little lost soul
Not knowing life; living as if there was no tomorrow
Always smiling no matter how hard times were
Remembering the days we spent together
The family times we shared together
You were given a precious gift and you accepted it
That was a day of great importance 
You were overjoyed
Becoming more than what you were in her life gave you happiness
We trusted you with our precious gift
We gave you guidance as best as I could
But one day
You made the choice to leave
You left the earth without saying good bye
Our world was empty without your smile
You brought laughter into our hearts
You gave us joy
But you chose to take it away from us
You gave us pain and sorrow
Never did we ask for this
Your selfish ways took over
Not realizing how much pain you would cause us
Till this day we love you and miss you
We cry for every moment we think of you
For all your silly ways and all your jokes
Always remembering you in our hearts
Missed always from the bottom of our hearts...

Here we are again

It's a beautiful day for being a Monday!!!  I can't believe how we are only about 2 months away from going into 2015!!!!  Where is the rain, the cold weather???  I recall as a little girl it was always cold around Halloween time, at times it would even rain.  How I miss rainy days!!!

No Privacy in the Net

I cannot seem to shake off the reading and video we saw on Tuesday!  The more I think about, the more I realize that in all reality there is no such thing as Act of Privacy.  We have no Freedom of Speech in the world of the net, anything can be used against you.  I feel that people who express themselves in the way the choose to in any social media network, should be allowed to.  Of course as long as it is not to offend or threaten others.  Many people hide behind a computer and like to vent and write what is on their minds.  Others is another way of just being themselves, of course the world is full of many weirdos and what nots but social media networks should not be tools for potential employers or colleges to pass judgement.  I am just saying venting and I am sure this will be seen or read some way or another but I truly do not care.  It is my right to express myself.... LOL!!!! 

Urgent Care

The visits to urgent care are sort of ickie..... so many germs floating around.  Good thing the visit there was easy and quick today.  Even though the doctor just sounded like he rambled on and on just to say she looks fine and her lungs sound good.  Ok so why the persistent cough for two weeks now, ummmm.  We will treat with antibiotics. Really WOWok.

It's a BLAH

I am sitting here at work, feeling so brainless!!!  I cannot think straight at all!!!!  So pardon me if I do not have much to write, but just felt like blogging.  It is just a blah day in my mind, cannot think straight, cannot write straight, wait there is no such thing as writing straight, right?  Do we write crooked??  Letters have loops, turns and curves......  I am just bored with not much to say, but I am avoiding contractions!! 

Relationships/Shoes

Relationships sometimes are like a pair of shoes. You find the perfect ones, they fit just right but the price is a little too steep but you get them anyways. The beauty of them wear out & the comfort was really never there.
Then you come across a pair they look nice enough, the price is great and feel comfortable enough to keep for awhile. The comfort disappears, your feet start to hurt, ache and your left with no choice but to get rid of them. Eventually you come across some decent yet not too appealing pair of shoes at a very reasonable price. They are beyond comfortable and soothe your feet and you feel as if you were walking on air. You treasure and take care of them like no other and they become your forever lasting pair.

Butterflies in My Tummy

I sit here thinking of  you
Reminiscing of how it use to be back in the days  
When then I was never a thought in your mind
Simply just a friend
Years have passed and seasons have changed more times than once
You notice me as the woman that I am
Blown away and mesmerized with loss of words
We sit and reminisce about the good old days
I captivated you just by the way I looked
You give me simple words and I just smile
You look into my eyes and give me security
You smile at me and I feel joy
You look at me and I feel butterflies in my tummy
Afraid to fall into the arms of temptation
Not knowing if you are for real
Scared to take a chance
But you give me butterflies in my tummy
When you hug me and hold me tight I feel secure
When you touch my face you give me butterflies in my tummy
I hold back because of fear of being hurt
Only time will tell what it will be
If it's meant to be
Years have passed
And you brought me back butterflies in my tummy...

Too high

Heart aching it is to know that someone can lose themselves from one minute to another.  Seeing it before your own eyes leaves you in disbelief.  One moment a young woman is blessed with the most beautiful gift of life and the next she is caught up in a world of addiction.  Such a young mind, so lost with no direction, can't even look into her own babies eyes because she is too high.  Too high to feel, to see life through clear vision.

It's Monday!!!!

I truly did not want to come in to work today, after last nights margaritas!!!!  It had been a while since I had a few margaritas and now I realized why I never enjoyed them....  They have TEKILLU (tequila)!!!  I should have just opted for something different but no we had 2 pitchers of strawberry margaritas.  Note to self "NEVER AGAIN!!" 

Natures Way

Just admiring natures life
In the whimsical misty night I hear the crackling of the wood burning in the fireplace
Envisioning a more secluded and peaceful setting
Letting my mind wonder to the peacefulness of this silence which surrounds me
Feeling so safe and secure in my own way
Scary it seems to have no worries
Carry no burdens
So wonderful though to really have a sense of peace of mind for once
What a wonderful feeling it is
Cherishing every moment is gratitude to my spirit
And happiness to my heart....

It's Wednesday!!!

Life is a beautiful gift, it shouldn't be wasted on things we have no control of.  Smile to the world with no care and carry on like you have no worries.  Good day!!!

Is it FRIDAY yet!!!!!

It has been a crazy start to my week and it's barely Tuesday, yet longing for Friday already!!! I was so stressed with taking my math test yesterday that it set my body in tired mode.  I need to stop slacking off on going to the gym and get back into my routine.  It will help me clear my mind and help me get rid of the tension.  After work hitting the gym, then picking up my daughter from cheer practice rush home and then off to English class!!!  Sorry I'll be all stinky!! 

Sodium Laureth Sulfate

It is  funny how when you go looking for certain products, whether it is for you home or for your own personal use we never bother reading the ingredients and if we do we may not know what they all mean.  I started searching Sodium Laureth Sulfate (SLS) or (SLE) and it was an eye opener.  Certain websites claim that there has not been enough or supportive scientific evidence to link it to cancer but claim that higher concentration does cause skin irritation and even corrosion of the skin.  WOW like really??  I do not want to use anything that can cause any sort of skin irritation or cause any harm to any part of my body.  How can the FDA approve such products?  From now on I am going to be more cautious as to what products I purchase.... I wonder can this be a reason why people's skin becomes so sensitive to products and doctors claim it is just allergies. 
Thanks professor Oberman for sharing!!!

Reality Checks In

Reality checks in and in comes the light into true vision of it's being.  In your own mind you always saw things in one way but then reality checks in.  What you really thought was there was never really there.  Only the illusion of you being in Love but reality opens the door and in comes the truth.  A truth you dare not bare.  In your own mind everything was great but reality made you see that all along there was nothing there.  You thought it was Love but you got slapped in the face with the fact that it was all nonsense. Reality checks in and it really opens your eyes to realize that you have wasted all this time on something that was never there.

Math

I truly enjoy learning and I've never had a hard time understanding math.  Now that I am taking math 125 for some reason I feel beyond lost.  Is it me or is it the professor???  I think it's the professors teaching skills and methods, which lose me.  All his teachings are based on his own power points and runs through the lessons very quickly.  I am hanging in there and being tutored will be my best friend. I just want the math nightmares to go away!!!

Happy FRIDAY!!!!

I have survived this week, it's been a little rough.... Trying to get into the swing of things and adjusting to going back to school.....  Having a teenage daughter in high school is a lot of work in itself and her being in cheer just adds on to the pile of craziness.  I love the madness of my schedule though... I don't know the real meaning of relaxing weekends anymore!!!! 

Perfect Night

The night has fallen and the stars are gleaming with such brightness. The moon has casted it's light upon my soul with an everlasting glow. The breeze of the night is calming and soothing. Listening to the crushing waves,feeling the warmth of ocean and the mist of waves touch my face makes my body tingle. To be in your arms in such embrace and feel your body next to mine is such a display of such passionate love and romance. The softness of your gentle lips pressed onto mine brings the magic out from this never ending night. To feel you caress my body and feel your warmth ignites my every desire. My perfect night is never ending.

My Mind Is Blank... I think..

I can't think
I can't write
I can't focus
My mind tends to just wonder
I lose my train of thought
Not knowing why
Drives me insane
What is going on
There is so much restlessness within me
Do I need to be in pain to concentrate
Do I need to feel anger
Must I always feel so sad to be able to express myself
Oh no I can't have my life be this way
I have no pain or sadness in my heart
I have joy and peace of mind...
I am going insane wanting to comprehend...
Oh no has it come to it's end
Me writing my wildest thoughts...
It can't be no way...
I don't want to be in pain to write
I want to express my every true emotion
Whether it's pain, pleasure, desire or just plain happiness...
Maybe I haven't experienced other emotions...
I don't know...
My mind is blank...

It Felt So Real

A gloomy morning you feel the cool breeze sneak into your window
Chills run through every part of your body
Sitting there starring into the gloom of the sky
Not knowing what to do next
Wanting to just have a soothing touch

To embrace your every movement

To bring you warmth

And fill you with ecstasy

To bring you such pleasurable desire till you can't no more 

To make you moan & groan till there is no tomorrow

To make you yearn for more and more 

Leaving you with the taste of passion

You yell and scream in utter satisfaction

You wake up and find yourself alone

It felt so real 

It felt so good

Such a dream caused you to explode leaving you unsatisfied... 

Effortless

If at the end of our day we took time to reflect in our days activities, I believe we would see all that was accomplished without even trying.  So imagine how much more we can endure if we just invested more effort and time to attain our goals in life...

How can you???

It’s difficult to face the troubles of the heart when you can’t seem to understand what is really going on within your soul.  So many paths, so many choices; never knowing which way to turn to.  Such confusion is overwhelming, taking the easy way always seems much simpler but in the end it’s never rewarding.  Once again you find yourself in the same circumstances as you did from the beginning.  How can you decide?  How to know??  Do you follow your mind or do you follow your soul???  Such contradicting situations never knowing how it will all turn out.  Knowing that the simple mind wants no complications but complications is all you ever face with no intentions of regret.  Does it makes sense or is this just nonsense???  How do you know?  How can you tell????   No one ever knows what really is at the end of the tunnel.  It's just a road of many straight and curved paths that leads you into a state of confusion; always wondering which way to go…..

All I Know

Sometimes I get lost in translation
Not able to comprehend what surrounds me
Stuck in the world of the unknown
Losing grip of reality
Not wanting to let go of what seems so true
For so much has been taken 
Can't bare to lose anymore
It's numbness that over comes this empty soul
Wanting to feel warmth
But unable to release the coldness of the hurt
For pain is all I've known
The only comfort I've known is the thorns in my back
For I've carried them for so many years
Not realizing that I've lost so much
Indulging in sorrow is all I've known
Reality seems to slip away
I lose my breath can't tolerate the pain
I lose myself in this emotion of rage
Not wanting to hate, I can't help myself
This is all I know
I don't know any better.....